Battle Scar

I used to dream that everyone

would be happy.

A place filled with no hatred,

no chaos, and no pain.

Somehow, the freedom to dream 

all went down stream.

All washed away in the waters,

not even reflecting its remnants.

What once was a dream,

now became dark.

Darkest skies I shall say,

not even a speck of light

shining through.

A storm has just arrived.

And it comes with a loud cry.

The cry of angst,

like endless thunder

rumbling through the night.

Many storms shall pass,

but a certain storm will stay.

It stays inside of my flesh,

remaining dormant until shaken.

Once outside, it produces tears

like rain falling from the skies.

With painful thoughts,

haunting me all over again.

Wishing I could let the words out, 

but to remain silent is the route,

for this battle scar will never be won.

Missing Home

The humid air welcomes me,

as I stepped outside of the airport.

Welcome to Manila!

Memories etched on stones.

Where a whole part of me has never left.

 

 

Laughter fills the air as conversations were made. 

The kitchen boasts an aroma of traditional dishes.
The table is filled with our favorite foods,
all ready for a feast.
All made with hands that have missed us all these years.

Outside, the orchids bloomed in mom's garden.

The beauty within these orchids,

so full of life and God's love.

 

I still recall the many times,

I stood in the rain and just let it pour on me.

It was like being baptized all over again.

Raindrops falling on me,

cleansing me inside and out.

My fears washed away,

a renewal of my own self.

The house stood still from the outside.

Same as it was when we first moved in 1994.

It rattles my brain with memories of my childhood.

Running around the garden, until I fell flat on my face.

Falling from the stairs for they were steep.

The living room where mom and her sisters would gather every weekend.

The weekends filled with music and karaoke,

where I worked on developing the gift of singing

with the presence of my aunts.
The same place where I would sleep at times,

for the marbled floors cooled my body during the night.

In the end, the last place I recall of the interiors,

before bidding good bye when going back to our lives abroad.

Crosses

Eyes bloodshot red

from crying intensely of pain.

Too many storms have passed,

and still a heavy heart is existent.

The crosses are like a boulder 

on my back, increasing weight,

as I climb up the mountain top. 

The pain is so much to bear,

but silence comes with patience

to withstand it all.

Should a rainbow appear,

will I find my inner peace

with that pot of gold in the end?

Death of Friendship

There is that hole

piercing through my heart,

with pain from over a year ago.

A pain that has made me incomplete,

like a puzzle missing waiting to be complete.

At times, weakness strikes with no warning,

making me fall to my knees.

My hands clasping my head so tight,

that I no longer feel the same,

rather a stranger walking around 

some foreign place.

My heart is as cold as death,

numb with lidocaine.

Unable to feel the beauty, 

joys, laughter, and love.

All that is there, sorrow.

Sorrow for the pain inflicted upon me, 

like a knife stabbing me from behind.

Pronouncing death over many memories
of a genuine friendship that is no longer existent.

Bare

I want you to come a little closer

Listen to my heart and soul

Open another side of me to

Bare myself and who I am

Underneath it all.

Watch me move mountains.

To the skies I dance,

with the wind moving my body

gracefully, as I twirl happily 

to the music surrounding me.

Listen to my voice,

for they will speak from the depths of my soul.

My words will fill you up,

with what goes on underneath my skin. 

It comes running through my veins,

my silence, 

I hid from the world

waiting to bare it all from my heart.


©SheJoy

Young Love

There was a time I could recall, a time I recall that I was in love.

In love like seeing sparks flying in the moonlit night,

that I could vanish many moons away into the still of the night.

Then there were those days when I would be playful

playing hide-and-seek after class because I wanted you to chase me

to chase me in between classes.

Although I knew, the sole purpose was to hide from you,

and to duck away from your big hugs that engulfed my body, every time I saw you.

Then there were those times on the phone,

on the phone I would be talking about my day.

Then suddenly bursting into some song whatever comes my way.

Singing songs to you straight from the heart,

hoping to brighten your day with the sound of my voice.

Then ending it, with who hangs up first with a million times of I LOVE YOU.

Until one of us hung up bidding the world adieu.

The Name

What's in a name?

A name that rings, softly in my ears.

Like bells chiming when the wind blows.

A name that only reminds me of you.

The individual that makes my heart smile inside

At one simgle glimpse of you.

Seeing you,

my heart skips a beat when you are around.

Making me feel so conscious,

Of everything I do second by second.

Your precious smile, that you wear daily.

With those jeans and tee, you rock so simply.  

Reflecting your simplicity and individuality.

Your genuine personality,

God-fearing with authenticity for Him.

Filled with passion, setting hearts on fire

with your love for Him.

© SHEJOY19