[DRAFT] Untitled poem

I still recall that day.
The day I found out, I was expecting.
The two lines were obvious to my eyes.
I was excited.
 
I will be a mom!
A mom that will love you unconditionally.
I will shower you with hugs when the world brings you down.
I will be right by your side to wipe your tears falling down your cheeks.
My joys will soon be cut short while waiting for your arrival.
 
There I sat on the table in the clinic.
The weather was beautiful.
The sun was shining through the windows.
The doctor came in to do the usual exam.
Out of nowhere, that beautiful day and happiness,
soon turned into a stormy moment for me.
 
It turns out your heart has stopped.
My dreams of holding you in the months to come,
will never arrive.
I will never get to touch your small hands and feet.
I will never see those tiny eyes of yours.
I will never hear you cry out when you are hungry.
I will never get to rock you in my arms,
as I watch you sleep,
I will never be able to sing to you,
songs that will calm your senses.
I will never see you grow.
 
You are a living beauty no matter what.
A joy to my heart when I knew I was pregnant.
I enjoyed touching my belly, even when the bump was not visible.
I enjoyed every moment I sang my heart out.
I knew you heard every note of it.
Even with the saddest moment of life,
I knew I gave you all the love a mother can give to her child.
I loved you since and will always love you even when you are gone.
I may never meet you face to face, but I love you with every piece of my heart.

 

©SheJoy

Rainbow

Do you remember days, when all you saw was nothing but grays?

Just grays with darkness surrounding it.

A thud of thunder is heard, followed by droplets of rain.

The droplets of rain soon turned into a downstream from the heavens.

It poured endlessly, that it felt like a stream of tears waiting to be let down.

Tears of every emotion kept inside for a long time.

The stream of tears was like the pouring rain outside my windows.

Rain that gave me strength to hope for what is ahead of my journey, to simply embrace life freely as the wind blows on this stormy day.

To place a broken cup outside my porch and catch what is left of that ray of hope.

For hope is nothing but a four-letter word waiting to fill my broken cup, my shattered dreams.

My shattered dreams slowly dwindling away to disappearance into the storm.

However, one nudge and a spirit brings forth a nudge to my ears.

I listened to this inner voice after seeking Him in prayers, in hopes I’d find the truth of where I need to stand at this point of time in my life.

The truth belongs to where my heart desires in my mind and soul.

He knew it will be difficult journey, but He pushes me silently.

Sitting still by the windows, the darkness I saw in life slowly turned into a ray of hope.

The ray of hope began to settle onto my soul, as the sun lit the stormy skies.

Finally, when I took a step outside and looked into my broken cup, I saw nothing but droplets of water.

Amidst looking down into it, I looked up into the bright skies and saw a colorful ray of colors.

A rainbow so colorful, filling my heart with joy and taking me out of the darkness I have been in for so long.